More Things to Avoid
- Really, just be a good person.
- Sex outside of marriage? Bad. Gossip? Bad. Greed? Bad. Anyone who does this bad stuff is most definitely not going to be part of God's kingdom. Sorry, sinners.
- Christians shouldn't believe the lies people (who aren't Paul) will try to feed them, too.
- It wasn't so long ago that these Gentile-Christians were hanging around in darkness without a clue about God. Now Jesus has turned on the light and they need to act like it. They can see everything now—they know which things are good and true. That's some strong wattage on that bulb.
- Don't fall asleep. Well, don't fall asleep metaphorically.
- And don't be stupid. Think before you do something God wouldn't like.
- Don't get drunk, either. Instead of chugging wine all day, try gulping down some Holy Spirit. It's so refreshing.
- And don't forget to sing! God's pretty into the whole praising-him-through-song thing.
The Rules for Marriage
- Everyone should serve everyone else. That's the way that Jesus likes it. He's way in favor of helping others.
- Ladies, listen to your husbands. Obey them. Jesus is the head of the church and your husband is the head of your household. R-E-S-P-E-C-T, okay?
- But husbands—you've also gotta love your wives.
- Equality…?
- It totally makes sense because Jesus loves his church. He also died to save his church, so good luck living up to that standard, gents.
- Jesus was the one who made his church holy. It's kind of like a bride who takes a shower on her wedding day. Jesus is the one who pours down the water to clean her up and make sure she doesn't smell when she's standing up there at the altar.
- That's the same kind of love husbands have to show to their wives. A man should love his lady like he loves himself. He should care for her like he cares for his own body. Hopefully his grooming habits are good.
- That's why, Paul says, a man leaves his family and makes a life with his wife. Those two people become joined together as one person.
- And that is why men should love their ladies and gals should respect their man.
- Hey, no one said this was a feminist manifesto.