Sacred Vows
- This next section is all about God's rules for nazirites. These are men or women who set themselves apart from the community to become closer to God. Sort of like ancient Hebrew monks and nuns, but their vows weren't necessarily permanent.
- So, you want to be a nazirite? Here's what you've gotta do:
- No drinking wine, booze, vinegar, or grape juice. So much for weekends.
- No eating anything made from grapes. Looks like you're switching to strawberry for those PB&Js.
- No more hair cuts. God likes long, unkempt locks.
- No going near dead bodies. Not even if your mom dies? Nope, not even then.
- Okay, so that's hardcore. But what if you mess up and accidentally touch a dead body? Who can resist doing that?
- No worries. Just shave your head, then bring the priest two pigeons and two turtledoves (leave the three French hens at home. It's overkill). Once the priest sacrifices them—ba-da-boom-ba-da-bing—you're back in holy business.
- When you're done with your vow and ready to return to secular life, bring a male lamb, a female lamb, a ram, a basket of unleavened breads, cakes, and unleavened wafers to the tabernacle for the priest to sacrifice. Then, shave your head and burn the hair and you're back to getting tipsy on Friday nights. Easy peesy lemon squeezey.
God Bless You (Did Someone Sneeze?)
- After all this, God tells Moses that he needs to tell Aaron to bless the people. They've been doing so well, so they really deserve it.
- It's sort of a famous blessing (because God gets pretty poetic and sappy here): "The Lord bless you and keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, and be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace." Awww. Told you it was sweet.