Forget it, Jacob--it’s Samariatown
- The first prophetic speech was Hosea’s Gettysburg Address, a pithy one chapter long. This one reveals what would happen if the band didn’t cut off winners at the Academy Awards.
- The speech is another blend of prophetic poetry and a breach of covenant lawsuit. Wrongdoing, punishment, restoration--that’s Hosea’s wheelhouse.
- Hosea recites a laundry list of Israel’s considerable sins, which have spoiled the earth and everything in it.
- Theft, adultery, lying, drunkenness, fornication, whoring, worshipping trees—you name it.
- And they’re not to blame Judah for it.
- The priests are in for special punishment, because they’re supposed to be keeping everyone on track spiritually.
- When people finally wake up to their guilt, they’ll come crawling back to God.
- Not so fast, says God—you think I haven’t noticed what you’ve been doing all these years?
- God’s been the one sustaining them all these years, and they turn against him? They’re toast.
- God goes on about Israel’s faithlessness to him and their worship of golden idols.
- They’ve totally forgotten what God’s taught them, so it’s bye-bye Israel. God tells them they can go try forming alliances with Assyria or Egypt and see how that works out for them.
- Hint: It doesn’t. Assyria ends up invading Israel and scattering its ten tribes.
- God says that Israel used to be such a good kid, like grapes and figs. But once it got introduced to foreign gods, it was downhill from there.
- They made “bad choices” and are now withering on the vine.
- Their kings will be destroyed by foreign armies and mothers and children will be slaughtered.
- God says how much he loved Israel as a child, but the more he called to him, the further away he strayed. Kids today…
- All the fatherly pampering and advice God gave Israel just seemed like a yoke and a burden to him, so they went to stay at their Assyrian Dad’s house.
- Editor’s note: Has nothing changed in the past 2800 years??
- God suddenly realizes that no matter what, he can’t bear to destroy his beloved Israel. He’ll contain his fury and win them back.